My First Mental Health Swim – Ellie Cain
This time last year, in the middle of the first lockdown, I was 5 days away from giving birth to my third baby. I’d had anxiety and depression throughout the pregnancy and was being closely monitored by the perinatal mental health team.
After a few months of coping reasonably well, things started to get very dark for me. A combination of previous trauma, the pandemic and other factors plunged me into severe postnatal depression. At the end of October 2020, my baby girl and I were admitted to a Mother and Baby Unit. Here we spent the next 3 months.
I had to be away from my husband and other 2 small children. It was a very difficult time, but also amazing and lifesaving.
While I was there, I had a “the universe is talking to me” day. Several people talked to me about wild swimming. One of these was the absolutely inspiring psychiatrist on the MBU, who put me in touch with her friend and colleague, Naomi, who is the host of the Lyme Regis Mental Health Swim meet. I messaged her and we started chatting on Instagram.
When I was discharged from the MBU at the end of January, we were in full lockdown and the groups couldn’t run, but Naomi and I started my MHS journey 1:1 on 22nd February in beautiful 8° water with the sun shining. Since then, we have been meeting on most Monday mornings and I have also been to two Mental Health Swim meets, one in Lyme Regis and one in Sidmouth. I’m completely hooked! Naomi and I are selkie sea sisters and our swims are spiritual and healing.
Naomi led me through the uncertainty and anticipation of my first swim (with a thermal rash vest and neoprene gloves over my swimsuit) to embrace the changing sea in just a tankini.
My mental health will probably always be up and down, but I have been able to identify things that help me to stay more level. Being with compassionate and likeminded people is so vital for me and explains why the pandemic hit me so hard. Being outside in nature fills my soul and being in the water helps me to be more present and mindful. I am now a cold water junkie, as I experience the same thing so many of us do, but cannot fully explain. It is like a reset button for me. As I enter the water, I feel my body acknowledging the sensations, all my systems responding and doing what they need to do to keep me alive. I can put my trust in my body and brain in a way that I usually find so hard.
I am currently returning to work as a secondary school teacher on a phased return and I’m finding my swims an integral part of this process. I’ve applied to co-host the Lyme group and have already encouraged a few friends (and another professional in my care team) to come along. I’m so grateful for this incredible community, which is helping me to stay well and home with my family
Our My First Mental Health Swim project aims to give a voice to those attending a Mental Health Swim for the first time, helping reassure those looking to come what to expect. If you would like to share your story, drop us an email at stories@mentalhealthswims.co.uk